Something to Say

This blog has still been a bit aimless, despite my talk of making it more focused. I realize that my lack of willingness to write comes from having (or, well, maybe just feeling like I have) nothing to say.

I am one of those people who hates to talk about their day when they come home from work or wherever, because I have just lived out the entire day, and I really do not want to go back over it again, thanks. I'd rather talk about something new and unrelated. I suppose that is the same attitude that carries on over into my blog. I find myself avoiding the act of hashing out something well-written about my experiences as a [female] DP because I deal with it so often. And sometimes it's tiring. And I talk about film all day. I'd rather write about baking cupcakes than the 13 hour shoot I was on where the director and I spent most of the time growling at each other, culminating into a 5 minute time-out for both of us. (Although, I admit, readers would find the latter far more interesting.)

I suppose it's important to write it all down anyway (i.e. title of this blog). But I have never been good at journals. Evidence circa Tuesday, 1992:

[My bed is PieEk (pink). I Like iT.]

I think early 1992 was my most prolific year as a journal-writer, as entries from that year make up the majority of the maybe 15 pages that were scribbled on in that diary. I had just turned 6.

The only time I ever wrote about my daily experiences well was when a close friend of mine moved out of state. Unsatisfied by email, we wrote letters by hand. I have a few that I typed and printed, and they are so incredibly detailed and full of stories from an odd time during my teens. They're very interesting for me to read, and they bring back memories I had completely forgotten. I suppose that's one of the best reasons to journal or blog, besides the community that can come out of it.

So, I guess my best writing comes when I am writing to someone with reckless abandon. Someone who I can picture reading my words, rather than a faceless and accidental internet audience. I suppose having a real audience or recipient is what makes writing meaningful for me.

So I'm going to try and push myself to write more on the filmmaking side of things and see what happens. And I will no longer feel guilty about writing non-related posts. And while I'm sure the majority of people who come across my blog aren't going to be too interested in all the other stuff that happens around my filmmaking, it will at least hopefully produce some more interesting (if not more universal) writing. (The very thin concept I have of my readers comes only from the statistics I receive for my blog, specifically the keyword searches that bring them here, and the posts they read.)

But, as a self-proclaimed awful diary-keeper, I am not making any promises.

p.s.: My bed is sage green and cranberry red. I like it.

1 comment :

Alex Selus said...

Bah you need to post more! If it means I need to start up my blog again and post more...then so be it! XD

But srsly Haro, I always read your posts, even if i don't always comment, and even if i don't always agree.